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Joke of the Day
"How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching? Terra-fied."
Next Joke
"How many bad joke tellers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One."
"if you watch the titanic backwards hundreds of disgusting sea zombies come together as a community and rebuild an old ship"
"I consider myself Christlike in that I refuse to believe my parents ever had sex with each other."
"What Do You Call a Girl Who Doesn't Do Kegels? A lazy cunt!"
"I saw a clown doing sit-ups. Funny how things work out."
"The most unrealistic part of The Martian movie was... CNN's coverage did not involve speculation about whether Joe Biden would also get stuck on Mars"
"So, two muffins are sitting in an oven.... So two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other, ""Man, its hot in here."" The other muffin replied, ""OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""
"So, i wanted to know what my weight was. 'Holding your belly in is not gonna make you lighter' my wife said. But how am i supposed to see the numbers?"
"What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls? Altha'or syzygena"