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Joke of the Day

"So, two muffins are sitting in an oven.... So two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other, ""Man, its hot in here."" The other muffin replied, ""OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'd just ""let it go"". My 6 year old told me this. I will show myself out now..."

"Hey, incessant seatbelt indicator beeping, I'll outlast you; just like your friend the gas light. You're not the boss of me."

"Who held the baby octopus to ransom ? Squidnappers !"

"Policeman: Why did your car just spin around in circles? Motorist: I was making a U-turn and changed my mind."

"A limerick for The Isle of Skye When I was on the Isle of Skye I overdid the old Spanish fly I had a stiff member From the fourth of December Till Friday the tenth of July"

"How is working in I.T. like being a wizard? You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens."

"My girlfriend thanked me for telling her a joke as she hadn't laughed since her mother died I think it was pretty disrespectful that she'd laughed when her mother died."

"The frog was double parked... And that's why she got Toad."

"7: I didn't do my homework Me: why not? 7: they told us to write about the new president Me: so? 7: you told me not to cuss"