16498

Joke of the Day

"What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls? Altha'or syzygena"

"I woke up one day and your name just didn't make me smile anymore."

"Funny how we say ""I drank a *pot* of coffee"" instead of ""I drank fourteen cups of coffee and chased the cat around the hot tub with a sword"""

"Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?"

"Ivan Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint the phone rings and he jumps up shouting ""Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dog!"""

"Patient: Doctor if I give up wine women and song will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer."

"one time a kid at recess said i couldnt actually dig a hole to china, i said ""Watch me"" then walked away. i avoided him the rest of the year"

"How does a mathematician solve his constipation problem? He works it out with a pencil! = "

"Best Classic Joke Ever... So Seinfeld says ""What's the deal with airline food!?"" LMAO"

"Funny one liner: Virgin Pussy is a ""Road not taken"""