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Joke of the Day

"There's no law that says you can't make a tiny swimming pool in your belly button for a gummy bear pool party."

"You can drink lava But only once"

"Incest: The Boardgame Fun for the whole family!"

"I put a lot of basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme in my old Volkswagen Beetle... ..it became herby."

"You're nice to the weird kid once, then BOOM! Stalked for life..."

"Q: What do you call two blondes in a canoe? A: Fur traders."

"If there was any award for laziness, I probably would send someone to pick it up for me."

"Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths ""not guilty""] Me: hot milky L: *bangs head on desk* FFS just lock him up"

"Watch Forrest Gump *feel inspired *toss orthotics out, go for jog *1/2 block later, keel over and die next to shit happens bumper sticker"

"The only relative I want to see at my door is Papa John."