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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear there was a sequel to The Boy in the Striped Pajamas where he visits Charlie in his chocolate factory? It's called the Gas Elevator (I know I'm going to hell for this)"

Next Joke
 
"[quietly opens a beer] Funeral Director: seriously?! Me: oh sorry [reaches into cooler and hands him one]"
"Why did the clam get in an accident? He was talking on his shellphone."
"This morning I had a swollen testicle. ""I'd have simply preferred toast,"" I told my wife."
"Food wedding anniversaries: Year 1: champagne 2: strawberries 3: chocolate 4: donuts 5: protein shakes 6: microwave meal 7: Rat poison"
"TIL a French man named Philippe Fallope invented the flip flop"
"If you're French in the bedroom, and Italian in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European!"
"Human confrontation has gone from face-to-face to phone call to email to text to :/."
"Did you know that when a woman wears a bikini, 90% of the body is exposed? But men are so classy that they only stare at the 10% that's covered"
"How do you kill a fox? Give it one leg and make it run across Canada"