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Joke of the Day

"Things never heard before sex, ""Wait let me take off my crocs first"""

"Not to mention trempe If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine."

"What do you call a bad circumcision? A rip off. (Da da tshhh)"

"Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because Oct31 = Dec25"

"What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer? A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets."

"What did the Alaska Native's girlfriend say when she broke up with him? *""I'm just not that Inuit.""*"

"Being OCD and an optimist, I see the glass half full but I measure to make sure it's EXACTLY half."

"{Working as a bouncer} ID please *looks* Okay you can go *softly kisses their forehead first*"

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""spider"" Can you use it in a sentence? ""A spider has eight eyes."" [kid smiles] Spider. S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R"

"Recreational drugs? No thanks, I went pro years ago."