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Joke of the Day

"Two old men are walking through a park... ""Nice out, isn't it?"" ""Yes, I think I'll get mine out too."""

"Why do blondes have bruises around their belly buttons? Because blonde guys are stupid too."

"I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault.... It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'."

"I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Lays."

"So let me get this straight, a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its ""back"", and yet airlines charge for overweight baggage?"

"Remember when you were a kid and used to blow Bubbles? Well, Bubbles is back in town and he's looking for your number."

"The best thing about being Bane has gotta be that he can just slice a hardboiled egg straight into his pie hole"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Fuck if I know."

"What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin? No R-E-S-P-E-C-T."

"My wife looks like the cats in those cucumber videos when she turns around & sees me naked."