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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about being Bane has gotta be that he can just slice a hardboiled egg straight into his pie hole"

"I'm not positive, but I think when you say you're ""over"" something, YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT."

"It's my birthday today and, as a special treat, my wife has said I can have anything I want tonight. Her arse will be red raw tomorrow. Curry for dinner."

"What do you tell a gardener with a psych major? I fucking hate my mom."

"You're like pizza at a Chinese buffet. I ain't feeling you but I see you over there, doing you, and I respect that."

"Breaking news In an exclusive interview, Hitler tells our reporter that the final solution was all a big misunderstanding, he claims he said: 'I want concentrated juice'"

"how did the ghost get to the hospital? in the amBOOlance"

"What's it called when you have decided to stop eating cold turkey sandwiches?"

"If I close my eyes while my 3 year old pours her cereal I can hear the relaxing sound of thousands of Cheerios raining on the floor."

"Your name is Jeff with a G? Jeffg? Ok"