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Joke of the Day

"Past, present and future walk into a bar... it was tense"

"They don't even serve apples at Applebee's. Or bees."

"Why did all the residents of Flint, MI switch from the hip hop station to the classic rock radio station? They wanted to get the lead out."

"How do you keep someone in suspense?"

"Shhh don't talk, I'm imagining you smart."

"What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ? Jack-u-la !"

"I was in an elevator with the Easter bunny yesterday It was a hare raising experience."

"The way I see it, the only thing my daughter's little ""boyfriend"" needs to know about me is I ain't afraid to go back to prison."

"Hitting on women is like doing Parkour.. I can't do Parkour."

"I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn't even eat them."