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Joke of the Day
"Shhh don't talk, I'm imagining you smart."
Next Joke
"Colin Firth has a younger brother named Colin Thecond"
"Car broke down. Seen enough Man vs Wild to survive. 20mins later when the tow truck showed up I was drinking urine out of a poodle's skull."
"Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant."
"I just watched a tumbleweed get blown across the road. I'm so jealous."
"Why couldn't you trust the king of the jungle? He was a lion."
"What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room? A full set of teeth."
"Did you know love doesn't matter? It doesn't have mass and doesn't occupy space."
"A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone."
"The British are making a monument out of rocks to Harry Potter's author When finished, it'll be called the Rowling Stones."