103353

Joke of the Day

"I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn't even eat them."

"How much does a hipster weigh? ....An instagram."

"Watching cooking shows makes you realize how much forehead sweat is possibly in your food"

"The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow."

"A man walks into a bar with a gun And shouts, ""Who the hell fucked my wife?!"" A man in the back replied ""You haven't got enough bullets mate!"""

"What did King Midas say to get peoples attention? Eh you!!"

"This is how I like to review my books: I look at their prose and cons."

"I was going to buy a greek yogurt today, every little helps. Come on guys, lets pull together."

"Boss:my office, now! Me:*to myself* dont be about Twitter dont be about Twitter B:we've had a sexual harassment complaint M:Oh thank God!"

"This year's Brits will always be remembered for its fabulous tribute to 'Allo 'Allo!... Featuring the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies."