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Joke of the Day

"Why was the little shoe sad? [His father is a loafer.]( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4_OBPxJgjY) I'm here all night"

"Trainer: OK this week we are cutting carbs. Me: Wait, what - even macaroni & cheese? Trainer: Ya. Me: ...I think we should see other people."

"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye... So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen"

"Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with three guys? She came back with a red snapper."

"what did the trilby wearing neckbeard atheist find in t he synagogue during channukkah m'nora"

"You know who brings a knife to a gun fight? Cannibals. And also a fork."

"My silent frog died... After a noiseless life and a drawn out death, the little guy finally croaked."

"Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers? Because they were stale, matey!"

"Hey something came in the mail today... What? Deez Nutz! Haha Got Em!"

"How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?... You take the letter F out of way."