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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can actually finish a race."
Next Joke
"Q: Why did the girl loaf of stale bread slap the boy loaf of stale bread? A: Because he tried to get fresh."
"I overheard a voyeur couple talk... ... about how they needed to start seeing other peepholes."
"I often call my stepson a ""bitch"" and my stepdaughter a ""dickhead"" to show them the importance of gender equality."
"Some people are very down to earth... You know, midgets."
"If zombies attack I'm heading south, most of those people don't have teeth."
"When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*"
"What do you get when you kiss a canary? Chirpes. It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease."
"Yo mama is so hairy... ...She doesn't have a bush, she has a whole damn rain forest."
"""If you break up with me, I will beach myself."" -dramatic whale"