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Joke of the Day

"When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*"

"You ever notice how many narcissistic pirates there are? Everyone I meet won't stop saying Aye!"

"I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid."

"Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions."

"What's the difference between half a dozen dicks and the truth? You can't handle the truth."

"How many Missouri Police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just shoot the room for being black."

"I shouldn't have said that. - Me. Whenever I talk."

"I had 4 cars been their horns at me this morning... It made it really hard to watch Netflix on my drive to work!"

"What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? ""Robin, get in the car."""

"How do Reavers clean their spears? They run them through the Wash :("