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Joke of the Day

"61% of internet traffic is from bots... ...the other 39% is Reddit users manically hitting refresh to check their upvotes on new posts"

"Her: Eckspecially. Me: *walks away*"

"has a fever: i'm ok coughs out lungs: i'm ok throat on fire: i'm ok is hungry: death, despair and chaos has entered my life"

"Meta I asked my friend "" you know what is the best type of joke? A meta joke."""

"What's the best hour to book a dental appointment? Tooth hurty."

"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""

"What did the poor, unfortunate, paraplegic kid get for christmas? Cancer."

"In Canada, she's Kilometery Cyrus."

"How do you know your waitress is having a rough night? She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen."

"Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast? Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some? Son: NO. I hate casserole. Me (whispers): I know..."