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Joke of the Day

"How do you know your waitress is having a rough night? She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen."

"I like my jokes like my coffee bland"

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was a fun-gui!"

"Having friends is... Like peeing your pants, every one can see it, but only you can feel the warmth."

"I'm very keen I could tell he was bald at the drop of a hat."

"What do you get when you have an ant with 8 legs? An uncle that has to build a bigger shoe closet..."

"Kim Jong-un promises a new clear future for North Korea Oops, spelt nuclear wrong."

"Hitler Maybe Hitler was just a fitness trainer and he was helping all the Jews burn a few calories"

"Jenner is a hero, and quite frankly saved some lives Had I not replaced the Jenner in my truck last week I wouldnt have been able to shift into neutral when my accelerator stuck today."

"Optometrist: Any questions about laser eye surgery? Me: How big of lasers will my eyes shoot? Him: Me: Him: How much money do you have?"