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Joke of the Day
"Her: Eckspecially. Me: *walks away*"
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"Being early to work is a dead giveaway that I'm still asleep and having a bad dream."
"Abortion jokes They really suck the life out of you"
"What do you call a good fortune teller? Optimystic"
"Note to self: I am a note"
"Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one."
"Two black men jumped off the building. Who reached the ground first? Noone cares."
"What do you say when you get swindled by an Egyptian tour guide? Egypt me!"
"When I'm feeling bold in the kitchen, sometimes I'll change up a recipe by forgetting to put in a key ingredient"
"I had a one night stand with a girl who was missing a limb Afterwards she wasn't too happy with me, we got off on the wrong foot."