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Joke of the Day

"Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast? Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some? Son: NO. I hate casserole. Me (whispers): I know..."

"If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son. We live in a patriarchal society where they're not considered as important or valid."

"How many people at a Music Festival does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero, its already lit"

"What do I do when my luggage gets tired? I rest my case."

"I knew a girl so ugly, she fell asleep at a frat party... and she woke up with more clothes on. (Stolen from Big Bang theory, I just love this joke)"

"A taxidermist was asked, ""So what do you do for a living?"" She replied, ""Oh you know... stuff."" - *From Tumblr.*"

"What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls. Because they are under a buck."

"Role-Playing I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to experiment with a role playing rape fantasy. She said, ""No!"" I replied, ""That's the spirit!"""

"Q: How does a blonde turn the lights on in the morning? A: She opens the car door."

"Just heard a dad threaten to spank his screaming son ""in front of the world."" Stand your ground, kid. There's no way he has that technology."