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Joke of the Day

"Dad and son A son asks his father ""Why does my bum hurt"" while the father replies ""Because I love you son"""

"I invented a new word Repost"

"i imagine the people who slaved for years perfecting the google search algorithm would be so mad knowing i mainly use it now for spellcheck"

"I'm gonna steal a bunch of Jesus fish off minivans and then put them back three days later."

"Matthew McConaughey's car can't make left turns. This is very dangerous. He should get that repaired"

"10:00pm *gets a snack* 10:01pm *turns on tv* 10:02pm *glances at twitter for 8 seconds* February"

"What is the meaning of trust? A cannibal giving you a blowjob"

"When I bite into a York peppermint patty,, I get the sensation,,,,,, That I should have bought a Reese's peanut butter cup..."

"Of course your milkshake brings the boys to the yard. What boy doesn't love milkshakes? If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed."

"Do you know why W. S. Gilbert was frequently drunk on his Trans-Atlantic crossings? Because he was quartered on the port side."