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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about the shoe store that got looted in Baltimore? The only thing they left were the work boots."

"I don't have a mental problem, I have mental problems...plural."

"QUESTION: Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep? ANSWER: Because he's afraid someone would look through the keyhole."

"A black person and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The cop"

"My kids and this punchline have a lot in common. They're both a disappointment."

"My doctor told me that I had Eczema on my elbow... I told him that was pretty redundant. Eggs on my on my elbow? So much for that PhD. I just hope it goes away before they hatch..."

"I turned to her and said ""We're all just seeking validation, aren't we?"" She just ignored me, stamped my parking ticket, and handed it back."

"Optimism I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optimist. I just don't have a whole lot to work with."

"Anyone can beat a polygraph.It doesn't even have hands."

"A mosquito goes to a military base. The commanding officer says, ""Sorry, this is a 'no fly' zone."""