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Joke of the Day

"i imagine the people who slaved for years perfecting the google search algorithm would be so mad knowing i mainly use it now for spellcheck"

"I accidentally spilled my bottle of rum on the floor. I was let down because I thought I'd be the one getting wasted."

"A man approaches a prostitute ""how much for a blow job?"" ""$30"" ""Can you do 20?"" ""sure"" ""Great here's $600"""

"Why are dockhands never featured in Miley Cyrus music videos? Because they're port workers."

"I get all of my news from ""We Didn't Start The Fire"""

"lol at all these fucking idiots in first class, cant even afford a private jet smh"

"As a European, I was always troubled by 2 Girls 1 Cup. Just how much is that in grams?"

"ESPN is cutting a few hundred jobs... So tomorrow's AM radio show will be ""Mike and Some Random People from Twitter in the Morning"""

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."

"What does non-alcoholic beer and going down on you cousin have in common? Sure they taste the same, but it just ain't right."