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Joke of the Day

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"The woman next to me on this roller-coaster won't stop screaming and shouting. It's like she's never seen a penis before."

"What kind of pants does Super Mario wear? Denim denim denim"

"Did you hear about the day when Hagrid took Harry, mashed him up, put him in a blender with ice cream and drank him? Yer a Blizzard, Harry."

"When the Chinese fill out government forms... Under ""Occupation"" do they write ""Tibet""?"

"* feels winds of change * realizes it's just a hole in my shorts"

"If I could travel back in time I wouldn't kill Hitler, but I would write him a scathing book review called 'Mein Kampffft."""

"Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment. We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed."

"Do you want to 68? You go down on me and I'll owe you one."

"Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?"