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Joke of the Day

"I was just dancing like nobody was watching and anyway... my dogs dialed 911 and these firemen think I'm having a seizure."

"This morning they were out of cinnamon buns at the coffee shop so I asked for an antonym bun. I hate when people roll their eyes."

"What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band? KGBGs"

"You god damn morons. All these celebrity nudes were leaked by the Illuminati to distract us from important shit like karate and hoverboards."

"Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk."

"What does the dot on an Indian woman's forehead signify? Coffee's ready"

"What do cutters and heroin addicts have in common? Long sleeves."

"How do you castrate a guy from Kentucky? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"Why don't people like gay soccer players? They score against their own team."

"Why do pedophiles love Old Navy sales? Cause all the kid's clothes are 60% off."