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Joke of the Day

"I was just dancing like nobody was watching and anyway... my dogs dialed 911 and these firemen think I'm having a seizure."

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"Waiter what is this hare doing in my salad? I believe he's eating your lettuce."
"Whats a retarded person's favorite season? Autismn"
"James Bond is my favorite drunk, horny murderer."
"Why was the wall in a store? Because it's wal-mart."
"Engineers To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, some idiots used a glass that's twice as big than necessary."
"Is there a class for just the karate noises?"
"My wife asked me about where to put a dish when unloading the dishwasher... I looked at her and said ""As a French whore would say 'Put it anywhere it fits.'"
"TIFU: I was called in to teach 6th grade math but ended up teaching 8th grade english Sorry, wrong sub."
"You know what they say: once you go blank Shit i forgot what i was gonna say"
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