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Joke of the Day

"Every time you make a typo... the errorists win"

"If you think Hillary is going to drop out of the presidential race, you should know Hillary doesn't go down... That's why Bill had Monica."

"Just saw two elementary school kids in a fistfight... So as an adult, I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."

"What do you call a group of guys grocery shopping? Brocery shopping"

"I've got an L-shaped bed. Lowercase."

"I don't know what gave you that impression but I wouldn't sleep on it next time."

"I'd have a longer attention span if things weren't so shiny"

"Are you an elixir? Because you made my PP go up."

"Politicians have more need of diapers than babies because they're full of way more shit."

"Why was the man at the cookout so happy? He met the grill of his dreams."