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Joke of the Day

"Politicians have more need of diapers than babies because they're full of way more shit."

"Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle."

"I told my friend that he can do anything he puts his mind to... ...he told me to lick my own pussy."

"Why do Black People hate country music? Because when they hear ""Hoe Down"" they think their sister got shot."

"If I had a buck for every time an elk was confused for a deer... I'd have a lot of doe"

"My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch."

"Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank.... I have no words right now to describe how angry I am."

"I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib"

"What's better than four roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ"

"Leather armor is best for sneaking Because it's literally made of hide."