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Joke of the Day

"Binoculars have to be the worst gift you can buy for a cyclops."

"""Grandpa, why did you let catastrophic global warming and 4+ Transformers movies happen?"" -- Your disappointed grandchildren"

"Who is FAPMAN's greatest nemesis? The Stroker."

"As I walked down an alley today, I was accosted by what I thought was an angry, needy turnip. It turned to be a ruder beggar."

"I met this european guy last night who claimed he was a well endowed white supremacist Well, he said he was a hung aryan"

"What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? Spare ribs."

"""I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That's crazy."" Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin"

"Never tip a cow more than 15%."

"""Man, what's eating you today? *looks down* I Don't know.... GET IT OFF OF ME!!!"

"The Whole Foods next to this movie theater is perfect if you want to sneak in your own snacks, but don't want to save a lot of money."