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Joke of the Day

"[Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] ""YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"""

"Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor."

"Meet the female version of Thor Whor"

"Girl, do you want some good sex? Me- Girl, do you want some good sex? Her- No! Me- Then you came to the right guy"

"I once met a Republican feminist She told me to Czech my privilege."

"How many shrinks does it take to change a tire? Well, first the tire really has to want to change..."

"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""

"What do you call children who are afraid of Santa ? They are Clausaphobic"

"Every girl on Tumblr smells like Chapstick and cats."

"The captain of a ship got into a fight with a one eyed monster... Once the fight ended and he had prevailed he said to himself ""I lost a lot of good seamen today..."""