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Joke of the Day
"*Spoiler Alert* Siamese cats are just one cat, not two cats in one."
Next Joke
"TRAIN TIP: A few minutes before the train arrives at your destination, get up and crowd around the exit so you can wait faster."
"A governor is being inaugurated and there are snipers on buildings and based on my work in video games I'm offended I wasn't asked to help."
"If it looks like a duck & swims like a duck & talks like an angry duck policeman, then you about to fail a sobriety test son"
"I wanted to go to Neptune But Uranus is in the way."
"Some people wouldn't understand that skinny jeans and fat genes don't go well together."
"Why do dogs run in circles ? Because its hard to run in squares !"
"Something about everything sucks."
"Once upon a time, I used to worry that people would think I'm weird. These days I'm genuinely surprised when they don't. "
"Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch."