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Joke of the Day
"""Sound the alarm!"" ""Dude, there's no way that thing will fit."""
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"Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn't attend."
"Whoever said ""It takes two to tango""... Clearly never took Spanish."
"People are like snowflakes. When they pile up on my car windshield, it's difficult to drive."
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend got mad at me for busting a nut. It's not like I could eat it with the shell on."
"If he's dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all ""I still haven't gotten my period."""
"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""See you next month!"""
"Prove you're not a robot by typing two words that sounds like they were doodled on a toilet cubicle by a schizophrenic"
"How many retards does it take to change a light bulb? Well, line up so that I can find out.."
"Who the hell decided to say ""No Butt Sex"" Instead of Ignoranus"