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Joke of the Day
"I once swore in an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels."
Next Joke
"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 100 stories in 10 seconds."
"Batman prank calls Spider-Man... Batman asks, ""Is uncle Ben home?"" Spider-Man says, ""No! He is at the theater with your parents!"""
"Jim: You have a Fantasy Football team? Me: Guys aren't my thing. But, Tom Brady's kinda cute. Jim: No, I- Me: Ooh! Cam Newton's dreamy, too!"
"What does a pirate's beard feel like? Corsair. (works better in a pirate accent)"
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I've never paid money to have a lentil on my face."
"Do you think you'll get fake teeth when you're old and gray? Might as well. Nothing dentured, nothing gained."
"Why is the plunger gay? He was born that way you homophobe!"
"What do you call a lesbian who drives a Chevy Astro full of penises? A Dick Van Dyke"
"[Target cashier stares at my fingerless gloves] Ah, couldn't help notice you were admiring my hand vests."