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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I've never paid money to have a lentil on my face."

"My son is 2,000 years old and still lives with His parents. #loser"

"Him- You're a useless piece of shit.. Me- Show me a useful piece of shit."

"How do you keep black people out of your business? Put up a ""Now Hiring"" sign."

"The owl knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a toostie-roll-pop. Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a 5,000 pound boulder."

"Your momma is so stupid that she thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease."

"Your Honor, I would like to cite the legal precedent of Mothra v Godzilla."

"If banks are so worried about people stealing their pens, they should just attach them to a Creed CD"

"Why do Apes like tall buildings? They want to climb the heights of the business world!"

"I was driving down the road when I spotted a black man walking along carrying a TV over his shoulder... ...I asked myself, ""Is that mine?"" Then I realized, mine was at home shining my shoes!"