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Joke of the Day

"As new head of Westboro Baptist Church, I'm expanding who God hates. To start: delivery guys, vegetarians, and people who do Sudoku."

"I've already received over 150 RSVPs to my Halloween Shindig... It's going to be a Monster Party."

"Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side? ah wait, i can't remember the rest :/"

"Did you hear about the guy who fucked a sheep? Turns out he's bahhh-sexual"

"What's the best thing about blow job? 5 minutes' silence"

"How do you get alot of people to check out your post? Tag it NSFW and repost it"

"DEAD BABY JOKES: So what's the difference between a dead baby and dirt? **I don't eat dirt.**"

"[First date] ""So, do you have any pets?"" Yeah, I have a pet crow. He's white. ""You have an albino crow?"" He prefers the term cawcasian."

"How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)"

"If you have three tuna and take away one half, what do you have? Two 'n' a half -OR- tuna half."