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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is antonym ME: synonym JUDGE: no you have to spell it, not give an example ME: *lips on mic* i-t"

"what's worse than having a cold right before a job interview ? the holocaust"

"If I had a dollar for every joke I've recycled I would have a lot since this is a popular style of joke"

"Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City guess they don't have cell towers there so you didn't get my texts I'm going to kill you b"

"What's grey and bad for your teeth? A hammer."

"After the Titanic sank, rich people got their revenge by spending the last hundred years melting all the icebergs."

"What is the difference between a baby and a feminist? The baby grows up and learns to stop crying."

"Dear Canadians, Who's the cutest little nation? You are! Yes you are! *pinches cheeks*"

"Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-11 last night. Hope I don't catch slurpees."

"Cute names to call your girlfriend with 1.sugar 2.honey 3.flour 4.egg 5.1/2 lb butter 6.stir 7.pour into pan 8.preheat to 375"