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Joke of the Day

"What did the wall outlet say to the appliance? ""You're grounded."""

"What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, ""who emptied the dishwasher?!"""

"I've learned so much from my mistakes.. I'm thinking of making some more"

"Sir it would appear that you have sugar poisoning ""You mean Diabetes?"" Ooh look at me, I'm a patient that knows all the diseases ooh"

"The midget vampire woke up from his 100-year slumber His first words were: ""Huh... I'm a little stiff""."

"What kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms? A 2na"

"Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'"

"I think when shit hits the fan you really should rethink why and where you have that fan."

"What do you call a joke that makes fun of a woman, who has not consented to be made fun of? ...misogynistic."

"What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship? Let's get on the ship, men!"