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Joke of the Day

"I've learned so much from my mistakes.. I'm thinking of making some more"

"I knocked over the altar at a Buddhist temple the other day and spilled ash all over the monks They were incensed"

"According to MyFitnessPal, I have been dead for 6 weeks."

"Why /r/Hillaryclinton is a ghost town All their keyboards have water damage."

"Fred Willard got arrested for jerking off in a porn theater. Well, at least he can honestly say his newest release is in theaters now!"

"Why are teenage girls so odd? Because they can't even"

"If I was the editor of a magazine, I would put gametes on the cover Because sex cells."

"I thought the wife was joking... ...when she said she wanted to go to Switzerland for a Monkees concert. Then I saw her face...now I'm in Geneva"

"Knock Knock! Who's there? Frank Sinatra! Frank Sinatra who? Seriously?"

"The difference between Julius Caesar and a Rapist? Caesar came, saw, and conquered, a rapist saw, conquered and came."