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Joke of the Day

"What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship? Let's get on the ship, men!"

"Teacher to russian student: Boris, beware, I have eyes in my back! russian student: What Are you braging about? I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!"

"The Joys of Horse-riding by Jim Kama"

"If you were a prisoner going down the stair You couldnt be more condescending."

"A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they spot a young boy on the other side. The priest says, ""Hey! Let's go fuck him!"" The rabbi thinks for a second and asks, ""Out of what?"""

"Her: Are you a dog person or a cat person? Me: ... H: ... M: ... H: Why are you hesitating? M: I'm not sure which answer will get me laid."

"Ugh, I hate social media. (please validate this opinion via social media)"

"I won't take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move."

"If you can't tell the difference between delivery and DiGiorno... ...there is a good chance you've been fooled by a tranny once or twice in your life too."

"Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July r/jokes!"