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Joke of the Day

"Life is a lot like chess You've always got to be thinking two steps ahead. And most people want to be white."

"What does a massage therapist with a speech impediment who moonlights as a dubstep dj do all day? Wub, wub, wubs."

"I have CDO It's like OCD, but the letters are in order. Like they should be."

"Oh you're a jogger? Good for you. I just burned 3000 calories in under 30 minutes. Can't believe I forgot that pizza was in the oven."

"Two gay guys are going on vacation... ...the night before they are to leave, one gay guy says to the other, ""Hey man, can I pack your shit?"""

"How are two gay guys who are perfect for each other similar to an Ancient Chinese Emperor? They both had a mandate from heaven."

"What Are Donald Trump's favorite kind of nuts? Wall nuts."

"None of my relatives are members of any organized political party. They're all republicans."

"In Pakistan, what's the difference between an elementary school and a terrorist training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"""What's your favourite Pixar film?"" ""Up, yours?"" ""No need to be like that I was only asking"""