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Joke of the Day

"""What's your favourite Pixar film?"" ""Up, yours?"" ""No need to be like that I was only asking"""

"Mayweather will probably win against Pacquiao He gets extra practice with his wife."

"Well I finally solved my drinking problem, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous Yeah I still drink, I just use a different name, that's all (Courtesy of Rodney Dangerfield on The Johnny Carson Show)"

"To err is human... To not know what err means is American."

"My ex sent me a picture to remind of what I'm giving up. I sent her a picture of my new girl so she knows I don't give a f*ck..."

"When Lionel Messi dies.. He should have his Argentinian team mates bury him so they can let him down one last time.."

"People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law."

"What do you call a dock that lost it's cock? A TRANSport"

"So I recently discovered there's a black man in my family tree... he's still hanging there."

"Why are monsters hipsters? Because they've been coming out of the closet since before it was cool."