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Joke of the Day

"How are two gay guys who are perfect for each other similar to an Ancient Chinese Emperor? They both had a mandate from heaven."

"(NSFW) A blind man walks past a fish market and exclaims ""Hellooo Ladies"""

"What do you call people who worship paper bags? Sack religious"

"I appreciate the lemons, but wasn't one of you supposed to teach me how to fish by now?"

"Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don't make a right. Tomorrow I'm going to try three."

"The first rule of cliff hanger club is"

"Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough"

"What's the internal temperature of a Ton-ton? Lukewarm"

"Felt sad when I heard Taylor Swift is now with Tom Hiddleston. Apparently, my subconscious thought I had a chance with Tom Hiddleston."

"Hey, I fucked your mom last night. *Sigh* I know dad..."