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Joke of the Day

"police codes 472: loitering 213: man with horse eyes 304: gnarly dirtbike 94: breaking & entering 834: dog smoking weed 58: sexy loitering"

"Excercise adds years to your life... ... for example, I went jogging for 3 miles this morning, and I already feel like I am 65!"

"What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !"

"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."

"Why did the guy gay go to prison? For HOMO-cide."

"Grammar The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit."

"A black person is walking down the street carrying a 4K TV I thought, 'that looks like mine!'. But then I remembered, my black person is at home doing laundry"

"Why was the Trail of Tears so hard on the Native Americans? It's not easy to hike a trail when you're always falling down drunk."

"Don't call me "" bae "" "" baby "" "" babe "" or "" love "" unless I'm the ONLY ONE you're calling that."

"You have a donkey and I have a rooster. Your donkey eats my roosters legs. What do you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."