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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !"

"What's blue, white and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A fridge in a denim jacket."

"I've been playing poker on Facebook. So far I've poked 113 women, but not a one of them have poked me back."

"My friend's star sign was cancer, so I guess it's quite ironic how he died. He got attacked by a giant crab."

"How do you make a cat go 'woof'? Douse it in gasoline and set it alight."

"Forgetting to close my tab at the bar isn't as costly as forgetting to close tabs on my computer at home."

"On the bright side of the election There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while."

"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!"

"Why do mathematicians never have to pay for sex? They find getting sum trivial."

"Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years."