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Joke of the Day
"YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store."
Next Joke
"What's an undertaker's favorite element? Barium!"
"I used olive oil for sex last night. Popeye was furious when he found out."
"Q: What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit? A: The defendant."
"How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. But it takes five episodes."
"What's the difference between God and Bono?? God doesn't walk around thinking he's Bono!!"
"What's the definition of eternity? Four blondes waiting at a four way stop."
"Two cats decided to commit suicide by jumping off a cliff... The first cat jumped. The other was too much of a pussy."
"""Don't worry, I'll hold your stuff. You just worry about making friends."" - Cargo Pants"
"Girls are a lot like universities... I spend hours looking at them, only to realise I can't get into any of them."