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Joke of the Day
"YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store."
Next Joke
"BREAKING: A Tiny Fortune Teller Has Robbed a Bank And Is Now On The Loose! The headline reads: Small Medium At Large!"
"Harambe walks into a bar... Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have a beer. Me: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe."
"I just took the Bruce Lee of dumps. It fucked my ass all up."
"Why do gay barbecues suck? Because the hotdogs taste like shit."
"What do you call a group of people who hate Mexicans? Que Que Que"
"I was once an avid smoker of weed... I did weed everywhere I did it in rain I did it in snow But I did not, in hail."
"One day Facebook, YouTube and Twitter will merge. It will be called YouTwitFace."
"But seriously folks, what is Joe Walsh's best album?"
"Daughter: Dad do Zombies exist? Dad: No dear they're people wearing lots of makeup. Daughter: Oh like mommy? Dad: Close enough."