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Joke of the Day

"Daughter: Dad do Zombies exist? Dad: No dear they're people wearing lots of makeup. Daughter: Oh like mommy? Dad: Close enough."

"If u stand in the pouring grain.... Your gonna get all wheat!"

"Why did the hipster burn himself while eating pizza? Because he ate it before it was cool."

"What happens to the cow on her period? She gets MOOOOOODY"

"If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it."

"Her: Do I look fat? Him: Do I look stupid?..."

"If a stack is first in last out and a queue is first in first out, what is a circular queue? First in never out."

"*rings bell* ""Can I help you?"" Yes I'd like a dragon on my back an- *starts pooping on a crucifix* WTF? *checks sign on door* ""Taboo Artist"""

"What happened when the 26th letter of the alphabet hit puberty? She got a Zebra."

"If Chuck Norris is running late, time slows down. It knows better."