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Joke of the Day

"I was once an avid smoker of weed... I did weed everywhere I did it in rain I did it in snow But I did not, in hail."

"I wonder if back street boys have there own lunch room? a Bac-a-teria.THANK YOU ,THANK YOU VERY MUCH LADIES AND GERMS."

"Someone told me to go to Hell I told them I'd say hi to their mother for them"

"I asked my friends how they decided they were going to have a baby... They said it was just sperm of the moment."

"Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don't get her a size S with a gift receipt, you're an asshole."

"How many Shia laBeouf's does it take to change a lightbulb? NonononononononononoNONONONONONO! NONONONONONONO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! (he can't.)"

"For all the bad things that happened this year I sure did get fat."

"Her: You like shopping? Me: Oh god yes! Her: What's your favorite place? Me: The grocery store. There is a whole aisle of just cheese!"

"Me: I know exactly what's wrong with me, Doctor. Dr: I told you no Google. You Googled, didn't you? Me: NO! Dr: <blink> Me: One TINY Google."

"(Dirty!) Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor."