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Joke of the Day

"What kind of bee can make milk? Boobies"

"They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit."

"So the other day I called my girlfriend fa- All family and friends are welcome to the funeral"

"Wife: ""The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie."" Husband: ""Which is this?"""

"Overheard two doctors in the emergency ward They were discussing a patient who had arrived with six plastic horses stuck in his rectum. Described his condition as stable."

"ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you"

"A low battery and full bladder is the new torture."

"Why do they refer to network ports as female? Because when they stop talking to you, you never know why."

"It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside."

"Hi, childless people. I just meticulously peeled the skin off a pickle. Cuz the pickle was ""bumpy."" Enjoy your day. Not de-bumping pickles."