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Joke of the Day

"Overheard two doctors in the emergency ward They were discussing a patient who had arrived with six plastic horses stuck in his rectum. Described his condition as stable."

"An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walked into this bar... ..and of course we all know this because they wouldn't shut up about it."

"I was just flipping through a pictorial of Betty White on one of those celebrity sites... And I realized it was Lindsey Lohan. True Story."

"Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants? They can stick to the subject!"

"What do you call an Asian lobster? A crustasian"

"An old dood told me this joke Whats pink and wet, and smells like pussy? Then he does [this](http://giphy.com/gifs/tongue-cody-simpson-dAKdA1l0GETVS) I love old people"

"Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering ""You look fat in those pants""."

"I had a good Fallout 4 pun in mind... but I forgot it Radaway..."

"(NSFW) Fact: The donkey is the only know animal that can reproduce by ass fucking."

"I was having a piss in a war zone. Probably wasn't the best time for one of my fellow soldiers to yell, ""Cover me!"""