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Joke of the Day

"Why do they refer to network ports as female? Because when they stop talking to you, you never know why."

"My friend said I didn't understand irony... Which is ironic because we were standing in a bus stop at the time."

"Relax, folks. The dentist apologized for killing #CecilTheLion after he found out Cecil was famous. He meant to murder a NON-famous lion."

"I got a $100 bill tattood on my penis, if the wife wants to blow $100 she doesn't even need to leave the house."

"Why did Hillary go to the OB/GYN? She was feelin' the Bern!"

"So I was invited to an amputee party last night... It was absolutely crawling with pussy."

"Did you hear the one about the sidewalk? It's all over town!"

"When I retire I plan to study oceanography. (I'll eat like a shark, drink like a fish and lay on the beach like a whale)"

"I wrote a horror story using only six words. Donald Trump won the presidential election."

"Making French toast is a lot like making regular toast. The only difference is that you use your tongue."