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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock. Who's there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight?"

"I noticed you just hit the snooze alarm. MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOWWWWW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW"

"I'm going to get a job at a liquor store just so I can card people & see who's lying about how much they weigh on their ID."

"Why couldn't the pregnent women watch all of the Harry Potter movies? Because they lactate."

"Why did the orange move to veggieland? So he could live in peas and hominy."

"What do compassion and sex have in common? Without passion it's only cum!"

"Why does Wally (Waldo) always wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted! I'll let myself out."

"Yelling ""YOU MONSTER!"" after someone farts in a public bathroom feels pretty great."

"How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating? If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline."

"It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night."