35986

Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the pregnent women watch all of the Harry Potter movies? Because they lactate."

"What did the city say to its father before it left for Mexico? Ciudad"

"""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Santa."" ""Santa who?"" ""Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass."""

"A miner is selling raw ore... He's approached by a blacksmith who says, ""I'll take it."" The miner questions, ""Which one?"" Blacksmith replies,"" Either ore."" BADUMTISSSS"

"My girlfriend broke the news that she's pregnant I responded, ""Congrats, now you have something to remember me by."""

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flags a big plus."

"Pilot: Tower please call me a fuel truck. Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck."

"Why do ducks look so sad? Because when they preen their feathers, they look down in the mouth."

"98% of black people love having sex in showers The other 2% haven't been to prison yet"

"[prison riot] *standing over my origami ducks* ""GO AROUND! GO AROUND!"""