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Joke of the Day
"Yelling ""YOU MONSTER!"" after someone farts in a public bathroom feels pretty great."
Next Joke
"Instead of saying ""I lost 35 pounds"", say, ""I lost half a super-model"""
"""SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP"" I yell at the neighbor I can hear vacuuming at 1pm in the afternoon."
"[Jaws 5] Shia LaBeouf: Wait, is that a real shark? Spielberg: ACTION!!"
"Why did Minnie Mouse break-up with Mickey Mouse? Because he was fuckin' Goofy."
"Just complained to my girlfriend that my iPhone battery wasn't lasting more than 2 hours & it dawned on me that I'm white & totally spoiled."
"What do you call a gay Jamaican? A Pokemon."
"Exposed Ashley Madison users feel hurt & betrayed, unsure if they can ever trust again."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog."
"My wife asks for 500$ every day wow and what does she buy with all that money ? I don't know I never give it to her."